Please, learn a lesson from Baba Onikeke (a.k.a. “Bicycle”) of Labo Area, Ibadan. When you rent out police officers to individuals or organisations, do you provide a handbook outlining the ethics of engagement? Do you set clear boundaries so these “clients” know they cannot subject our officers to ridicule or humiliation?
Back in the 1970s, we used to rent bicycles from Baba Onikeke in the Labo–Oja Igbo axis of Ibadan. The old man—grey-haired, always in a threadbare singlet, with a dazzling set of variegated teeth—had a strict code of conduct. Before handing over a bicycle, he would reel out rules: don’t sublet the bike, return it on time, and, above all, don’t damage it. Strangely, he cared more about the welfare of his bicycle than our safety, even though we regularly got injured. If you violated his rules too often, you couldn’t rent from him again—unless you used a proxy.
Now imagine: Baba Onikeke enforced rules to protect inanimate bicycles. Yet today, the Nigeria Police Force routinely rents out human beings—trained officers—to individuals and organisations without any clear ethics of engagement. These are living, breathing people. Many are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers—human beings who deserve dignity and respect.
Why then are police officers reduced to menial, dehumanising roles while “on rentage”? We have seen officers polishing shoes, carrying handbags, serving food at parties, or opening car doors like chauffeurs for VIPs. One female officer was even spotted on social media standing behind a bride as she danced at her engagement. I asked myself: Is she protecting the bride from a kidnapper? Or is she just an ornament for the occasion?
It’s now common to see officers at film premieres, following around celebrities and “yeyebrities” like background dancers—yet they aren’t dancing. They’re simply trailing behind like zombies. It’s absurd. It’s disgraceful.
Even more troubling, almost every “yahoo-yahoo” big boy now has multiple police orderlies—shoe-shiners, car-door openers, bodyguards. So do known political thugs, notorious Omo Onile land grabbers, and leaders of street transport unions. This is an eyesore. It’s embarrassing to the force and to the country.
The Chinese MOPOL ‘Skit’ Incident
The punishment meted out to the police officers involved in the now-viral Chinese-MOPOL video—where they were seen receiving what appeared to be stipends or bribes—amounts to nothing more than a PR stunt. This happens daily, all over Nigeria, especially on our highways where officers blatantly collect bribes.
But what about the Chinese men who handed over the money in that humiliating manner? Why weren’t they punished? Why is it always the officer who gets ridiculed and punished, while the VIPs who degrade them go scot-free?
The Police High Command should have immediately withdrawn its personnel from those Chinese nationals as a deterrent to others. These men clearly treated our officers like props in a comedy skit—a kind of “tourist attraction” that would never happen in their own country. If we must punish the officer, then we must also punish the enablers of the disgrace.
Our officers deserve better: consistent training, a living wage, proper equipment, and strict adherence to service discipline. And if they must be deployed for “any other duty as assigned,” they should receive a share of whatever fees are collected.
By the way, why haven’t IGPs lived up to their promise to end this disgraceful “rent-a-policeman” culture? Every Inspector-General makes this vow, yet none delivers. These VIPs can afford private security. Why use our national police like personal servants?
Please, end the human rental business. Let accredited private security firms handle those roles. Let the police return to their core constitutional mandate: enforcing the law, and securing the lives and property of ordinary Nigerians—many of whom are slaughtered daily like chickens on Obasanjo’s farm.
Adeola Soetan
0803720785
